"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

IWGD

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

no longer writing in the third person

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I am below everything.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Style

Can I see

that looks like my instagram account

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

division of reality is straying away from it

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

December 2025

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

brb i will read and reply sincerely

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything