okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
Today I felt like starting
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
all that is to say
feel you
i understand