a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
and the fake qualifier
Better Lift
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
Today I felt like starting
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.it is hopeful
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.