i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

it is hopeful

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Better Lift

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.