Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
autonomy of learning
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.
feel you
send link
i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine
no like which do people call me
we need to be deconstructing our identities
in a post. I want to be remembered
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
what do you think my name is
yeah
was it worth it
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
all that is to say
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.
have you read
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.