what do you think my name is
part of an old note. It will get lighter.
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems
annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder
where it goes in the day.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life
It Will Get Lighter
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.
Rain, starting
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate,
but I can't
really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
,
I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.
Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But
like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it
recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare
seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.
We gather around the
start of a causeway down
to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about...
whatever
confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with
it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
