I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
really i want the internet
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for
the silver rizlas
he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.
I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to
identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by
50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a
stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along
to some creative studio.
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
propensity within someone
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression
The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met
at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This
actor had scored a minor role in
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had
gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.
and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging
in a post. I want to be remembered
He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think
of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind
of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels
like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only
belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time
in it.