We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

It Will Get Lighter

no longer writing in the third person 

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I am below everything.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me. The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

in a post. I want to be remembered

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

It Will Get Lighter

Slug

i love it here

...

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

what do you think my name is

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

bro i read nothing in my life

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

as in