This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

so at the end

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

December 2025

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

"Put a blanket."

division of reality is straying away from it

yeah

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

i dont understand magnetisation

we can only engage in such a way

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

or never left

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books