a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

yes

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

kind of mythopoesis

no longer writing in the third person

Style

brb i will read and reply sincerely

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Can I see

i see a website

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter