sorry i am texting like a slav
i see a website
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
no longer writing in the third person
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
Today I felt like starting
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
yeah
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
i really havent
i was tempted to lie about my name
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
or never left
the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
your feed looks like my tumblr
bro i read nothing in my life
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
feel you
no like which do people call me
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation