Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

but i respect your search

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Rain, starting

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

it is hopeful

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

isaac newton

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

its good

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

feel you

It Will Get Lighter